Gender Relations/Site Mate

***DISCLAIMER: This entry is NOT politically correct, although I tried. It could be perceived as insulting to Moroccan men of my city.... my response? This is what I have experienced and understood. If it's a reality not appreciated by Moroccan men when reading, then CHANGE IT.***

It has been a while since I posted because I've been in America and just got back to my wonderful little apartment this morning. I'll blog on that experience when I have had a few days to know how I feel about leaving and then coming back.

What is a site mate? A site mate is the term we use for a Peace Corps volunteer who lives in the same city as another Peace Corps volunteer.

Why do I have one now? At first I told Peace Corps, when I arrived, that I did not want a site mate. This was for a number of reasons but mainly because I wanted to blaze my own trail and do my own thing. I worried that having a site mate would kill my independence. I was fine with being alone. What Changed? Essentially, I figured out how Morocco and I work together, and I discovered, that pairs are better.

Verbal Harassment
When I first arrived here, in my permanent placement in Eastern Morocco, I knew that the verbal harassment would be bad. From the moment I step out of my apartment in the morning until the moment I come back inside at night I cannot go five minutes on the street without being whispered to creepily, kissing and/or hissing sounds made at me, sincere/insincere marriage proposals, etc. etc. In addition to that being a daily nuisance, periodically I am hit on/proposed to by men I thought respected me/wanted to work with me/take English class with me, etc. Now, of course, there are GOOD men here too. And I've met them. But they are not the ones hanging out on the street corners yelling at me, or professional men who have my phone number for business purposes and call/beep me constantly for, I assume, non business purposes. Is all of this tolerable? Yes, it's tolerable but tiring.

Basically, what I realized is that my Peace Corps service in rural Morocco will be more effective and productive with a male site mate. As I usually put it: It's difficult for me to be proactive when I'm constantly being defensive.. I'll give you a hypothetical example: Let's say I had an idea about a project to do with an agricultural association. I'd probably pass by the doors of the association 15 times before actually going in to introduce myself...that is if I ever worked up the courage. Why? Because, simply, I walk in expecting either 1. To be disregarded as a woman/foreigner (re: unfriendly response) or 2. To be welcomed extremely cheerfully and later in the conversation be inquired as to whether I "live alone" (the opening discreet question to find out whether I'd be down to have an illicit romance.) (re: overly friendly/insincere response). That creates a kind of anxiety leading to me draggin my feet when seeking out projects/networking opportunities.

So as the reader you're probably thinking "So What, Abby?? Go in there! Show them that you're serious and want to work and make them see you as a human being and not just as the opposite sex!" But, I'm telling you-- it's not that easy. Sure, I would have said the same thing but after a year of enduring the same behavior from so many men here over and over again it really does wear a person down. It bears repeating: It's difficult for me to be proactive, when I'm constantly being defensive. So when I finally admitted to myself that I had been defeated, so to speak, was when I sent peace Corps an email requesting that with the new cohort of trainees, I be assigned a male site mate. They responded positively and after much searching for a host family, we found one and at the end of November, my beautiful new site mate arrived.

INTRODUCING!
Hubbell M.!

Name: Hubbell M.
Age: 27, days away from 28
Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
Profession prior to Peace Corps: ESL teacher
Hobbies: Kung Fu, runnning
Likes long walks on the beach


I only got to know him for about 3 days before I left to Miami for my brother's wedding but my impression is that he is an up-beat, positive, and ambitious guy who is ready to get his feet wet. That is the best attitude to take in to a situation like Peace Corps/Morocco.

It's not all about me: How does our site benefit from having Hubbell here?? The better question is how does our site NOT benefit from having Hubbell!? For 10 years now PC volunteers in this city have been girls. So the girls of Bouarfa have certainly benefited! We get to create special friendships and relationships with so many girls and their families. The culture of Morocco is incredibly guest-oriented and not a day goes by that I don't have a standing lunch/tea invitation from many of my lovely female students and neighbors. The relationships I've been able to make with women here have been worth the disappointment of not being able to make equal friendships with men (tried...failed... ) But, while this is wonderful and important, that leaves a whole half of the population here neglected. The "chebab" or teenage/early20s males do not have the same opportunity, which is truly a shame. The cross-culture opportunities created by the "chebab" being friends with a male volunteer are endless.

Our site is now more complete, having both a female and a male volunteer. I also believe that this should be a standard practice for Peace Corps/Morocco, if they have the personnel to fulfill it.

Hubbell and I are going to have a wonderful year together full of independent activities and hopefully some collaborative "GAD" activities ("Gender And Development" formerly known as "WAD" "Women And Development." Changed for good reason!) And, inchallah, some collaborative activities that are not GAD related.

"Borders" or lack thereof

"In the Treaty of Lalla Maghnia (March 18, 1845), which set the border between French Algeria and Morocco, it is stipulated that 'a territory without water is uninhabitable and its boundaries are superfluous' the border is delineated over only 165 km.Beyond that there is only one border area, without limit, punctuated by tribal territories attached to Morocco or Algeria."

I think that every map I've seen here in Morocco of Morocco shows the southern and eastern borders with Algeria as a dotted line that just abruptly stops or no line at all. It always amused me and I thought to myself "well, that's just about how 'exact' everything is around here..." I didn't give too much thought as to WHY all these Moroccan maps lacked clear and concise border demarcations.

Today! I stumbled on the answer.... at least more of an answer than I have ever had before. I found out about something called the "Sand War," which was a border war in 1963. Amazingly, I didn't even know that this war took place practically in my own backyard, specifically with the city of Figuig. (I spent last new years in Figuig, see photos below)

A border conflict was inevitable because the French, when they occupied both Morocco and Algeria, didn't do a good job of defining the borders. To them, this was not an international border issue- it was all basically the same-- desert and oases and desert again. Or as is quoted above, an area "uninhabitable and superfluous" (You'd be surprised!) Then they found Magnesium and other phosphates and the land became a bit more important. (My city has a large old Magnesium mine, abandoned by the French) Their lack of creating a solid border led to conflicts after both Morocco and Algeria became independent, in 1956 and 1962 respectively.

I invite you to look at the following maps of Morocco: (unfortunately only one actually has the dotted line I referred to. I'm not surprised that all the disappearing-border maps of Morocco I see around here--including the map on my wall-- are not to be found in google inquiries.)
- Keep an eye on Erfoud, in Maps 1, 2, and 4. And look at the town of Tata (Southern Morocco, before the W. Sahara) in maps 3 and 4.

Though I couldn't find much information on the borders and their placements, (Someone needs to apply for a Fulbright and figure this out...) Here's an Economist article from 2010 talking about the opening of the border, closed since 1994. Now, you didn't hear it from me, but it is quite a porous border and I have personally experienced benefits from that (No, I didn't jump over there) but I won't name them here. http://www.economist.com/node/16219845


And now, a few photos from my trip to Figuig, the border land, over New Years 2010/2011. I can't believe these are already almost a year old!

Algeria lies between those two mountains in the distance.

That's the border. We rode our bikes all the way up to it. There was guard tower a few hundred yards to the right of this shot.

Hanging over the border (maybe?) and a dry river bed. I was really high up and this took some guts.

Here's a link to the rest of my Figuig photos from last New Years
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.669639889319.2227855.18806879&type=1&l=727aef6f46

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! NO, scratch that... Eid Kbir!

Monday marks The biggest holiday of the year for Moroccan Muslims. It is the Eid al-Adha, or "Festival of the Sacrifice" or as it is better know, Eid Kbir, or "The Big Festival" (The Eid Sghir, small festival, being the celebration at the end of Ramandan)

It has to do with the story of Ibrahim being told by God to sacrifice his son Ishmael, and Ibrahim, being ever obedient, agrees. At the last second, God sends a ram for him to slaughter instead, his faithfulness having been proven. Recently I have been quizzed about Eid Kbir's roots. When I explain the story, people are impressed I know it, but when I tell them it's because we have a nearly identical story in the Bible with Abraham's son Isaac instead, they don't seem to hear me. (We can talk some other time at the cultural differences in "listening" here).

If you want to know more about the general Eid Kbir, here's the wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eid_al-Adha

How is Eid Kbir celebrated in Morocco?
With a slaughter, of course! Here are the rules: (I have no idea what of this is attributed to Islam,and what is just cultural traditions. I don't have the ability to make a distinction)
- The ideal slaughter is a ram.
- If you can't afford a ram, a sheep or pretty much anything in that family will do.
- Every household must slaughter one, so if a son and his wife travel to visit his mother for the Eid, they need to slaughter two rams. Frequently, a cow can be substituted for big families, and then they only have to slaughter that one animal. If it's a big family all those rams add up to even more than a cow would cost.

The morning of the Eid the healthy ram is taken outside (out of site of any other animals! This is a must!) and the head of the family, or at least a man (women aren't allowed) stands behind the animal, and says "Bismillah" (In the name of God) and, hopefully in just one strike, slice the throat of the ram. Then the ram grotesquely rolls onto its side and kicks as blood squirts violently from the severed artery in his neck. It makes gurgling noises as every bit of blood is squeezed out. It's over in a few minutes. For the meat to be halal (like Kosher, but in Islam) all the blood has to be drained.

Then it's skinned and gutted and the women get to work cleaning out the organs. Before you know it there is a late breakfast of liver shish kabobs.

No More gorey details for now! These are all memories from last year's Eid Kbir with my host family. I plan on taking a video of the slaughter this year and I will post it here.

Meanwhile-- I spotted the rams a few days ago minding their own business on the road. I knew then that the Eid was getting close. (I was trying to be sneaky sticking the camera out my kitchen window without the shepherds seeing.)

ageing in Peace Corps

I have dreams of a beautiful blog entry on a wedding I went to, including documenting every bit of it with photos....but that remains a dream for now because when I think about actually sitting down and doing it I get a little overwhelmed and say to myself that I must have something more important to be doing...

So in the meantime here's a mini-blog:

I have come to the conclusion that I must have really aged in the last year. I was at a friends house this afternoon for Friday couscous and we were looking at photos from my facebook of last year's Eid LKbir (where we slaughtered the ram) and she said "Well you've fattened up a little from last year, haven't you." To which, as always, I respond "yeah a little." That is not considered a rude comment in this country. I've gained about 10lbs, although since Ramadan I've started exercising diligently and I bet I've almost lost that ten pounds.... but even so.... 10lbs on my frame shouldn't be enough to warrant the number of comments I've gotten about it...and I have certainly gotten comments. I've moved from a size 4 to a 6. That's not that big a jump!

So my conclusion is that I actually just look a lot older than last year and some of that comes from wearing my hair up more than down. I know that sounds a little ridiculous but I think that really changes the look of a person. Plus, it's a common fact that going from 23 to 24 years old is a turning point (kidding).

I have also had comments from local kids who've seen my facebook pictures about how "good you looked in the states and how you look 'different' here." well yes, I don't flip my hair around and prance in short shorts on the streets of Morocco.

So I don't know what to make of all these endless comments on my physical appearance. In just over a month I will be back in the states and we'll see if anyone says that the Sahara Sun has aged me. Let's call it "maturity."

All Publicity is good Publicity!!

On July 6th I posted a blog about traveling within Morocco for Peace Corps. One of the projects I participated in was doing a project design and management workshop for a hip hop group in Goulmima called S7rawa Boys. The PCV there has worked really hard with them and their story got picked up my MTV, in honor of the 50th Anniversary of Peace Corps and International Day of Peace.

So they have an article on MTV's website!!

http://act.mtv.com/posts/peace-corps-volunteer-uses-hip-hop-to-spread-love/#more-22488

Also, a film crew came from USA and filmed them for a short documentary. The film hasn't been posted yet, but when it is, I will definitely post it here!

I have made it one year!!

I arrived in Morocco on September 15th, 2010, one year ago exactly! On this special occasion I thought that I'd revisit how I packed, having no idea what I was getting into at the time. I've broken it into three fun lists, with notes at the end.

Things I'm so happy I brought:
-A set of sheets! They're hard to find here and I have never seen fitted sheets. This is definitely at the VERY top of the list, plus it doesn't take up much space. *********
-Good nail clippers/tweezers (Mother- I've managed not to lose these for an entire year! Aren't you proud?!)
-Lots of floss. It's good for a whole lot of things, not just teeth. (hotel room clothes lines, etc.)
-Hair brush. They don't have them here. They have little no-handled, bristled things that look like they're for my cat.
-Lots of deodorant. They sell it here, but not a wide selection, and only at the supermarkets. -I don't live anywhere near any supermarket.
-One of those travel soap cases!!!******
-Tons and tons of hair elastics and bobby pins.
-This is a “Happy I Didn't bring it” one: Books! The Peace Corps library is stocked! No sense wasting space on them. M'Hamed the librarian will send you anything your heart desires.
-A bath towel and a hand towel. I actually forgot these at first but got one from Sally from her's and my dad's apt in DC right before leaving.
-A sewing kit
-Duct tape! I actually didn't bring it, though I was advised to, because I thought it was too heavy, but the volunteer I replaced left a roll and I don't know what I'd do without it. White medical tape is also really sticky and won't take paint off.

Things I wish I hadn't wasted luggage space on:
-Shampoo. There's shampoo readily available here of fine brands
-Sleeping bag. It takes up so much space and sure, it's useful when visiting cold places, but so far in a year it hasn't made itself useful enough to make me forget how annoying it was to drag across the Atlantic and then across the country. I'll leave it here when I leave, for sure.
-Hand sanitizer. I brought 3 big bottles and don't ever use it. I know I probably should take little bottles with me when I'm out but I don't. I wash with soap, if available.
-AA Batteries. I don't know what I was thinking not bringing rechargeables.
-Sunscreen. It's in the med kit. You really don't need to bring any medicine, including vitamins.
-Baby wipes. Sure they're convenient when bathing isn't an option, but once they're gone, they're gone and you learn to live without them. Plus they're wasteful.

Things I wish I'd brought (or brought more of):
-Hair Shears. My home hair cuts are great but would be better with proper scissors
-Conditioner. People don't use it and I guess I'm high maintenance and have to use hair conditioner.
-Scotch tape dispenser. I know this is a weird one but it would make my life with scotch tape a lot easier. I use tape at the Dar Chebab for sticking stuff on the walls.
-Winter clothes! Or at least a proper coat. 30 degrees is cold, especially without heat and I don't know that I would have made it through the winter without the stuff my predecessor, Melanie, left behind.
-Jeans!! I have been going through them like crazy! One volunteer who's been here longer told me it's because all the squatting for the squat toilets wears out the fabric faster. I don't know, but I currently don't have ANY casual jeans left.
-Travel size bottles of shampoo/conditioner/moisturizer that I can refill. It's a pain lugging full size bottles around.
-A bathing suit. I figured I wouldn't need it, being in a Muslim country where I have to remain pretty covered, but those tourists are dressed all trashy on the coast and I could be one of them if I had a bathing suit.
-Outlet converters. They get lost pretty easily.
-A little photo album with family pictures. People would love to see what my family looks like.

I sort of wish I'd brought more clothes in general. I spent a lot of my luggage space on mountains of toiletries- soaps, shampoo, etc. and really could have used some more clothes.

Winner of Best Travel Item
A fancy fluffy only-for-the-guest-bathroom!-hand towel that your mother probably wouldn't want you to take out of the house. Why? It's great for short term traveling because it's small, but, believe it or not, can and will dry your whole body and hair and still not be soaking wet. By now I don't think my mother would permit it in any bathroom, especially not the guest bathroom because it's been so heavily used that it's kind of gray and dirty looking...but it still fluffs up even being dried on a clothes line. I don't have a camp towel and while all the all volunteers talk about how 'fast drying' they are, every single one I've encountered smells AWFUL. When you pack a wet towel, “camp” or otherwise, it's going to smell. Plus this towel makes a great pillow against the window on bus rides.

Forget bringing any kind of water purification device. If it's necessary for your region, PC will provide it. If it's not and you're getting sick, man up or boil your water.

Long Term/short Term bag:
So Peace Corps asks us to pack two bags for traveling: a short term bag for the period when we're in training, living with host families; and a long term bag that will be kept in storage until we travel to our final sites. What do I need for the first three months and not the rest of the time!? I had no idea. I basically packed all my clothes in the short term and some of my toiletries and put the rest in storage. I was pretty accurate, I think. The only thing I would change is that even if I like to sleep in little shorts and a tank top, while living with a host family all I wore was one conservative set of pajamas. Never assume that people won't bust into your room at all hours of the night. Privacy is not a Moroccan concept as I understand it. All my tank top/undershirt kind of things plus cotton shorts should have gone in the long term bag. So short term bag should have clothes and toothbrush, one tube of toothpaste, bottles of shampoo/conditioner, 2 bars of soap, deodorant, and bath towel. That's it.

1 year down, 14.5 Months To Go!!

Mabruk L'Eid!

Yesterday was the first day of Eid Alfitr, or Feast of Breakfast, marking the end of Ramadan. Apparently, it lasts about three days. During these festivities everyone dresses in new clothes and parades around the neighborhood telling everyone Mabruk L'Eid! (Happy L'Eid!) and eats lots of sweets.

Most people really celebrate heavily the first day of L'Eid which was yesterday. I don't know what I was thinking rousing myself at 11am and getting dressed (which involves me covering from the neck down) and forging into 100+ degree heat to go to the post office thinking it was probably open. Of course it wasn't open! It must have been delirium from all the cookies I'd eaten.

I'm just happy it's over and a normal schedule can begin again. I hate waking up late, so I'm changing my internal clock little by little. (Waking up at 11 is much better than at 3!) and hopefully on Tuesday the Dar Chebab will be open again and REAL LIFE will begin.

Yesterday's l'Eid weather was terrible! We had so much La3jaj (dusty sand storm) that in about 15 minutes my entire western room was layered in orange sand. So I went up on my roof and recorded the sand moving in from the desert. It's kind of a long video, unnecessarily. Sorry there's no sound. My digital camera doesn't have a sound card or it's broken. But at about 2mins you can really see a shift in the coloring of the air. (it's embedded at the bottom of the page)

Here are some pictures to compare: (there are no rain clouds here. It is literally just sand that's been lifted by the wind, coming from the southwest.)

VS.

The next set it not quite the same shot, but close. You can use the yellow/red striped building on the bottom for reference;

vs.

You get the picture. And now for my first youtube upload! Sorry for the grainy quality-- my camera is not very good for video.